i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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