i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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