She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
