hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
