wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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