guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
