She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
