how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
