You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
