Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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