Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
