do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
