her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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