i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
