You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
