Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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