Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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