she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize