the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Farmville is her only friend.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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