after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
