ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i used baking grease as lip gloss
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
