had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
