what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This is my gift to your gina
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
