what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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