What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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