His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
