If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
