We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
