if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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