you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
