@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
