the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
