Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
