just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
