Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
