the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
