ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
