I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
