it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
