Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
