My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
