I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
