Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
