I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
