haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
