Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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