That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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