ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
whose parrot is this?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
