Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
