So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
